Scrooge and Marner Bank

The Scrooge and Marner Bank vs Whole Life Insurance...

Consider this conversation with Mr. Silas Marner, the not-so-friendly banker at Scrooge & Marner Bank.

You speak:

“Good day Mr. Marner. Thanks for taking time to speak with me today about the purchase of an asset of real property. Mr. Marner, the property I want to purchase is valued at $1,000,000.00. Here are the terms I would like to have for this purchase…

First, I want to purchase this property with no down payment.
I also want to purchase the property without any credit check and based solely on my willingness to commit to level monthly payments that your bank guarantees will never increase.
I want a guarantee from the bank that the property will never decrease in value.
I want any growth in equity value to be tax free.
If I decide later that I no longer wish to own this property, I want the bank to guarantee that the equity I have built up will be paid to me in cash or as a lifetime income that I cannot outlive and that the property will revert to the bank.
If I decide that I don’t wish to make payments for some period of time I want the bank to automatically make those payments for me as a loan against my equity at a guaranteed rate of interest.
If I want to borrow against my equity for any reason, I want the bank to make the loan without question or qualification.
If I do borrow, I want the bank to only charge me a guaranteed rate that we agree upon before signing the purchase application – even if the loan is requested years into the future – and I want the bank to accept any payments I make, even if they are less than enough to repay the loan.
If I die prematurely, before the property is fully paid for, I want the bank to pay my heirs the entire $1,000,000.00, less any loans I have taken, regardless of how many payments I have made – even if I die in the very first month after purchasing the property.
I want to be able to make extra payments and I want the bank to keep track of them for me.
Finally, Mr. Marner, I want to pay the bank a few extra dollars each month so that if I get sick or hurt and can’t work the bank will make my payments for me.
So, what do you think Mr. Marner; do we have a deal?”